Immigration Policy for the Average Guy

Given the items in the Senate Immigration plan, as well as the President’s proposal, it’s no surprise that I oppose just about everything they want.

I can’t stop them from wrecking the country, but while they’re doing it, maybe there is something useful they could slip into their immigration bill that a regular guy could get behind.

To that end, I give you the HB-10 Visa Program.   Formulated by me, the HB-10 seeks to attract the type of immigrants that guys would like to bring into our country, namely, really hot women.


In spite of the current economic carnage being inflicted on our country, it still beats most other places so people from all over the world still want to come here.  We should take advantage of that by opening up a visa program that seeks out the most beautiful women in the world to come to the United States.  Here is how I envision it would work:

The basic requirements should be women between 18-26 years old who think they are hot enough to make the cut.  Applicants should submit a visa application plus a small portfolio.  For government purposes no more than ten photos, with at least three being head shots.  ICE could set up a committee whose job it would be to go through the applicant packets to determine if they are in fact tens.  As an aside, I volunteer to serve my country by being part of this committee.

If the committee decides that the applicant is in fact a 10, they are offered a visa.  Easy right?  And I think this type of visa program offers several advantages over the government’s current schemes.

Opportunities for the uneducated:  Since the current trend in immigration is for accepting those with no job skills other than domestic or manual labor, and in fact is downright hostile to those with technical skills that would actually benefit the economy like the tiny amount allowed under the H-1B program, then if you can’t beat them, join them.  The HB-10 program would have no educational or English language requirements.  No one is interested in what they are saying anyway.

Economic Benefit:  Genuine 10’s are an economic benefit to any country that snags them.  Because they are tens, they won’t have to work so they won’t be stealing jobs from hard working Americans.  However since they will be probably be snagged by some rich guy as soon as they get off the plane at JKF, they will be high income consumers, as they spend their days walking around using their boyfriends credit cards to buy shoes, clothes, and jewelry.   And of course, they won’t be a burden on our social services.  They are tens after all, so there will always be a guy to take care of them.  It’s the ultimate stimulus plan!

Beautification:  Frankly, the country would just look better with more hot women in it.  Since America has been taking in ugly people for centuries, maybe the sights of our cities and towns could be improved with better looking women in them.

Foreign Competition:  There are countries all over the world, particularly in population giants like China and India, which face adverse sex ratios in their populations.  There are not enough marriageable women for the marriageable men.  With MRI’s and sex selection abortions becoming more common throughout the third world, the sex ratio imbalance is likely to continue.  Therefore, we need to get in on the ground floor in this chick race by trying to snag as many of the cream of the crop as we can.  I would like to bring in so many 10’s that eventually  they are reduced to dating nerds.

You want to make America great again?  I can’t think of an easier way to do it.