It Starts with Deportation…

English: United States Senate candidate , at a...

English: United States Senate candidate , at a town hall meeting in Louisville, . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When it comes to immigration, I’m hearing this phrase echoed more and more by Republicans, Let’s start that conversation by acknowledging we aren’t going to deport” the millions of illegal immigrants presently in the country.“

However I was really disappointed to hear that from Rand Paul.

Rand, as the most libertarian member of the Senate, may have come to his open borders ideas honestly.  Open labor markets are fundamental to libertarian thought, but the rote, we are not going to deport 12 million people (or 11 million, fill in your own number) is the first line in virtually any conversation with an establishment Republican about immigration.  In other words, we are going to have amnesty no matter what, so deal with it.

It’s clear that we are never going to have an equivalent of Operation Wetback.  That Eisenhower era program forcibly repatriated illegal aliens from California to Texas back to Mexico.  Although the estimates of the success of the program vary wildly, from 50,000 to 1.3 million, the estimates are much higher for the numbers of illegals who voluntarily left to avoid being detained and sent back by Operation Wetback.

However we don’t really have to go to such extremes.  Normal enforcement would take care of the illegal problem in a few years after we successfully sealed the border.  Don’t believe me?

According to ICE:

400,000 aliens were deported in 2011

392,862 aliens were deported in 2010.

390,000 aliens were deported in 2009.

So if the borders were sealed, using normal enforcement measures, illegal aliens would be largely gone in a little over 25 years.  However they would cease to be a major concern long before that. And that assumes there would be no self deportation, which has been occurring since the start of the financial crisis.  That’s certainly a quicker pace than the one we were promised after the 1986 Simpson-Mazzoli Act of 1986.  We are still waiting for the borders to be closed as promised with that bill.

So yes, we can deport millions.  We already deport hundreds of thousands every single year.  With an open border however, it’s just bailing out the ocean.  If we ever got serious about closing the border the numbers of illegal aliens in this country would start to reduce immediately.

So as soon as I hear, “well we are not going to deport millions of people…” I know the speaker is not interested in actually dealing with the problem of illegal immigration.  They are only interested in getting those illegals amnestied; the quicker the better.  That tells me who in Washington is serious about the problem and who isn’t.  Right now, it seems that virtually no one is interested in doing anything other than amnesty.

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Immigration Policy for the Average Guy

Given the items in the Senate Immigration plan, as well as the President’s proposal, it’s no surprise that I oppose just about everything they want.

I can’t stop them from wrecking the country, but while they’re doing it, maybe there is something useful they could slip into their immigration bill that a regular guy could get behind.

To that end, I give you the HB-10 Visa Program.   Formulated by me, the HB-10 seeks to attract the type of immigrants that guys would like to bring into our country, namely, really hot women.


In spite of the current economic carnage being inflicted on our country, it still beats most other places so people from all over the world still want to come here.  We should take advantage of that by opening up a visa program that seeks out the most beautiful women in the world to come to the United States.  Here is how I envision it would work:

The basic requirements should be women between 18-26 years old who think they are hot enough to make the cut.  Applicants should submit a visa application plus a small portfolio.  For government purposes no more than ten photos, with at least three being head shots.  ICE could set up a committee whose job it would be to go through the applicant packets to determine if they are in fact tens.  As an aside, I volunteer to serve my country by being part of this committee.

If the committee decides that the applicant is in fact a 10, they are offered a visa.  Easy right?  And I think this type of visa program offers several advantages over the government’s current schemes.

Opportunities for the uneducated:  Since the current trend in immigration is for accepting those with no job skills other than domestic or manual labor, and in fact is downright hostile to those with technical skills that would actually benefit the economy like the tiny amount allowed under the H-1B program, then if you can’t beat them, join them.  The HB-10 program would have no educational or English language requirements.  No one is interested in what they are saying anyway.

Economic Benefit:  Genuine 10’s are an economic benefit to any country that snags them.  Because they are tens, they won’t have to work so they won’t be stealing jobs from hard working Americans.  However since they will be probably be snagged by some rich guy as soon as they get off the plane at JKF, they will be high income consumers, as they spend their days walking around using their boyfriends credit cards to buy shoes, clothes, and jewelry.   And of course, they won’t be a burden on our social services.  They are tens after all, so there will always be a guy to take care of them.  It’s the ultimate stimulus plan!

Beautification:  Frankly, the country would just look better with more hot women in it.  Since America has been taking in ugly people for centuries, maybe the sights of our cities and towns could be improved with better looking women in them.

Foreign Competition:  There are countries all over the world, particularly in population giants like China and India, which face adverse sex ratios in their populations.  There are not enough marriageable women for the marriageable men.  With MRI’s and sex selection abortions becoming more common throughout the third world, the sex ratio imbalance is likely to continue.  Therefore, we need to get in on the ground floor in this chick race by trying to snag as many of the cream of the crop as we can.  I would like to bring in so many 10’s that eventually  they are reduced to dating nerds.

You want to make America great again?  I can’t think of an easier way to do it.

Hispandering Executive Orders

Although I didn’t coin the term, ’Hispandering,’ I love it!  It’s a word that you understand the meaning of as soon as you hear it.  Quite an accomplishment when the prefix of the word comes from a made up government term of hazy definition itself.  Ahh, the flexibility of the English language…

So when I tell you that Obama’s executive order to allow young illegal immigrants to stay in the country and get work permits is hispandering, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Of course, the more you look into it, the more hispandering it looks like and the less policy change it appears.

First of all, it turns there is no executive order.

I checked the White House website for executive orders and found that the latest one, on June 14th, has to do with Accelerating Broadband Infrastructure Deployment.  It turns out the much ballyhooed “executive order” is really just a memo from Big Sis, Janet Napolitano.  Nothing about this memo is any sort of overreach or violation of the law.  It just covers those currently in removal proceedings and provides discretion for ICE agents to not waste their time on illegals who meet the memo criteria:

•              came to the United States under the age of sixteen;

•              has continuously resided in the United States for a least five years preceding the date of 

this memorandum and is present in the United States on the date of this memorandum;

•              is currently in school, has graduated from high school, has obtained a general education

development certificate, or is an honorably discharged veteran of  the Coast Guard or 

Armed Forces of the United States;

•              has not been convicted of a felony offense, a significant misdemeanor offense, multiple

misdemeanor offenses, or  otherwise poses a threat to national security or public safety;


•              is not above the age of thirty.

Even the much touted work permits are for those who’ve been granted deferred action by the agencies of the DHS.   And that’s not automatic; they have to apply for it which current law already provides for.  So this whole immigration action is really about nothing.  In fact, considering the lack of real reporting on this, it almost seems like a hoax.  There is no real change to the law, only smoke and mirrors to trick Hispanic organizations that this really means something.  It isn’t really a coincidence that Obama timed this right before He and Romney were to speak before the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials at Disney World.

If you need proof that Reporters and the media are nothing more than stenographers when a Democratic President is in office, you really don’t have to go much further than this story.  Virtually everything about this story that the Administration has touted has been false.

So as policy, it’s a fail, but as politics, it did work like a charm.  Romney was flummoxed for several days.  I can’t understand how he was caught so flat footed.  Obama’s entire campaign strategy has been to shore up his base, which he has proceeded to do one step at a time, going back to George Stephanopoulos’s contraception question in the January Republican primary debate.  So how hard should it be to know that Obama was going to make some sort of immigration move to hispander to the Hispanic vote?

Mostly the Romney campaign has been pretty good at waving off all of the everything-but-the-economy distractions the Obama campaign has been throwing out, but sometimes you have to be prepared to respond, and then get back to talking about jobs and the economy.  Hopefully Romney can already have an answer prepared by the time the Obama administration goes after the youth vote and tries to declare a jubilee on student loans.